If you were hang around my social media living room, you know yesterday was a doozy.
The earthquake retrofitting which was supposed to be done a week ago is still pounding on, fraying my HSP nerves. Guests arrive today and the “guest room” — a sectioned off corner of the basement that was supposed to sleep three cousins–is still covered in plastic and drywall dust. I have three days to relaunch Flock before I am once again, traveling to places where unplugged is the only option. Now that one of the kids has to eat Paleo-vegan (yeah, you heard me), I have to relearn how to feed the family — again. The general shittiness of the news finally caught up to me psychically (thank you R/DNC). And to top it all off the dog is shitting blood, which is how my dear Sammy started his long decline, so I’m super triggered and not at all resting in the reality that she just ate too many Doritos at the family reunion.
“If there is one thing I know and believe about you, is your connection to Source is solid.
Lean back, lovey. Lean back.”
(This is why we need a flock around us, friend. To tell us true things.)
When I get panicky and overwhelmed, my ego jumps up and starts trying to steer the ship. All of a sudden it’s about ME managing everything, finding the solution, carving out Way. My core value of Self Authority gets over activated, and I forget that I don’t have to both set my own sails and blow my own wind. There’s current carrying me along. There’s ocean holding me up. There’s salt water making me bouyant. Yes, sometimes that saltwater comes in the form of tears, but that’s Source at work too. At time like that, I need to remember this:
Source is our withmate.
Lean back and trust her to do her share of the work.
I’m not especially good at this. As worrier, I turn the options over so much that I forget to notice Source. As a child of the church, I tend to trip over old belief systems that say constant vigilance is necessary or you’ll fall into a whirlpool of sin. As a creative I’m very good at writing worse case scenarios.
One practice that has helped me to move out of those unhelpful thought habits is using the phrase: “With Source” Or “Without Source.” These two-word mantras appear as a hashtag in my mind’s eye, adding a dose of truth to whatever thoughts are racing through.
_______________ is impossible…#withoutsource
_______________ is possible #withsource.
Whether I’m thinking positively or negatively, I want to remain immersed in Source. It’s the only way I know how to live in shalom (wholeness.) These words help. I am grateful for them.
It’s always important to honor your ancestors, so I want to let you know where these handy truth-tags came from. I found them in the wonderful, easy to read book, Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead by Tosha Silver. When I first saw this book making the rounds on social media, I rolled my eyes. You may find it surprising how often roll my eyes at the Woo. It comes from having just a smidge of post-church stress disorder. It’s how my psyche tries to keep me from drinking the koolaid. And I’ve also come to learn it’s a sure sign I’ll be needing that particular brand of Woo post-haste. I don’t get how that works, but I’ve noticed the pattern. Eye roll. Crisis. Solution arrives in whatever I eye rolled at. So, I’m noticing the pattern. I’m still eye rolling–and then I go read it/listen/take the class anyway. And this read, it’s really worth it.
I’m going to head off now and write All the Things I need to write to get Flock up and running again. I’ll be leaning back a lot.
I hope you lean back with me, lovey.
I’ll see you soon.
Source often shows up in the compassionate actions of others. If you’d like to partner with Source today, consider sharing this post. Surely someone in your circle needs to know they aren’t alone in their panicky, eye-rolling ways! You can use #becomingreligish to help us find one another. (Thanks, you.)